East Coast Cyclones v Cork City Firebirds

Change of Venue!

But not apologising, not if it means we all get to play and the alternative was going to be a crappy cancellation.  Look, we all know the difficulties facing the smaller Irish roller derby teams these days- recruitment of skaters, keeping skaters, old age, injuries, rustling up refs and NSOs, venues, poor support, no money etc. Lets make this bout a great one, get some fab action pics of everyone doing their good thang and share, share, share!

So… East Coast Cyclones Roller Derby are now hosting the Firebirds bout that was due to be held 25th November @ Little Island, Cork City.

The game will now be played in Bray:

St. Kilian’s Sports Hall, School’s Road, Off Boghall Road, Bray, Co Wicklow

ALL TIMES TO BE CONFIRMED- please keep an eye on the new Facebook event page here:


Wouldst thou like to gloriously Ref or NSO for us? Please say yes. This bout is already hanging by a thread and we’re not too proud to beg, bribe, make promises to reciprocate etc.

Ref and NSOs can register here. If you had signed up for the Cork game and are up for a visit to Beautiful Bray, would you mind re-registering here?  We’ll happily and with gratitude and much love get you added to the days’ roster. Thank you!


Any questions, PM us on FB:


Or email:


Mass T-Struction (uhhh, responsible for Bout production apparently) on behalf of East Coast Cyclones thanks y’all!

Double Derby Day!

Shoreline Leisure Centre, Greystones, Co Wicklow is the place to be this coming Saturday 11th, particularly if you’re in the mood for a whole day of derby!

First bout First Whistle, 1pm

Dublin Roller Derby B v Rebellion Roller Derby A

Second bout First Whistle, 310pm

(The Glorious, Fabulous, Wonderful) East Coast Cyclones v Rebellion Roller Derby B

€10 in for the whole day at the door, under 16’s free.

Should be an absolute cracker! After party later in JK Stoutmans, Thomas Street, Dublin 8, from 730pm.






Change of Venue


(Booooooo…. we’re really, really sorry)

Beautiful Bray’s beautiful East Coast Cyclones will take on the combined fabulous fury of Cork City Firebirds and Waterford City Viqueens, bouting as “The FireQueens” Saturday 23rd September in St Kilian’s Sports Hall, Bray, Co. Wicklow, and not Shoreline Leisure Centre, Greystones, as we had originally hoped.



€5 entry for punters, under 16’s free.

This is “THE REMATCH”. Last time we played The FireQueens, back in April, we lost…grrrrr… but with some new tricks up our sleeve, fresh young blood (who have managed to get our team age average down to the mid-30s) and a renewed groove we’re pretty certain we can turn that around this game ;). Hear us ROAAAAAARRRRRRRR! Yeah okay, calm down there now.

Apologies to all other skaters who expressed an interest in skating that day when were thinking about hosting a Sur5al or co-ed mixed scrimmage but with a lack of refs and NSOs we couldn’t do it justice.  Again, really, really sorry 😦

Confessions of a Former Freshmeat

Thinking about attending our Open Skate? And maybe possibly signing up for Freshmeat? You have questions, and I bet they look something like this…

Will people laugh at me? Course not. Roller derby is genuinely the most inclusive sport there is. All people of different genders, no genders, all genders, ages, heights, shapes and sizes come along and everyone makes fantastic progress. However wrong you might think you are for this kind of sport, you aren’t and not one person will be thinking that you are.

Will I fall? Yes, yes you will. A few times you’ll fall hard. But you’ll get back up again and eventually you will fall less and less.  If you fall over 10 times in your first session, guaranteed you’ll fall only 9 times next session. That’s improvement. Even the most seasoned skaters fall, its no big deal. We’ll actually teach you cool ways to fall- safely, painlessly and how to get up again fast. We’ll teach you how to fall so that it looks like you did it on purpose. Actually, a lot of times you do fall on purpose.

Will people talk to me?  A lot of people are shy or apprehensive their first few sessions. Ask questions about roller derby, ask people why they decided to sign up, ask people if they have ever skated before. These are all great conversation openers for interacting with your fellow Freshies or the ECC teamies. We can be a bit shy too. Note: maybe don’t ask about injuries, not yet. Ah no, it’s okay. You might be surprised to learn that injuries are rarer than you think.

Will the kit fit me?  My feet are too small, too big, my thighs are massive, my arms are too skinny… I have a huge head… We’ve heard it all. We can kit you, because we are all those people too. The human body in all its glorious amazing variety is fully represented in roller derby, have no concerns. If you registered to attend our open skate and gave us your shoe size and build, we really should have something that will do the job. If you’re signing up and planning on hiring gear, we’ll make sure you have something suitable.

As you get stuck in, you’ll have more concerns. Something like these…

They make it look so easy, I’m brutal… It’s not effortless for anyone. When you watch the coaches going around like they were born on skates, trust me, they weren’t. And if they happen to look good, chances are its pure luck. They could be hungover. Two years ago I was Freshmeat, I skate with the team and help with coaching but I freely admit I’m not the best skater in the world, and never will be.  And that was me coming into roller derby thinking I’d be grand because once upon a time I was fairly nifty on ice skates.  I could roller blade too. Everyone starting roller derby for the first time started in the same place and just like you are now, they put in the effort! You’ll get there, don’t worry.

Will I fit in? Roller derby is full of different personalities, different backgrounds, different hobbies and different jobs.  It’s a place where “different” is welcomed and embraced.  You already have one thing in common with everyone- you’re into skating and have discovered roller derby.  You’ll find even more things in common as you become part of our big happy skate family. If you have kids, share your pics and stories. We have lots of mums on the team. Hate your job? Plenty of us hate our jobs and will gladly commiserate. Boyfriend, girlfriend or partner just generally being a prick? Yeah, we get that too. We skate to get away from EVERYTHING. Or maybe that’s just me? I don’t think so.

Can I commit the time? In an ideal world and especially with Freshmeat we would encourage you to try to make it to every training session- Freshmeat train once a week, Rookies and senior team train twice a week. We realise however that this world of ours is less than ideal so we totally understand when work, studies, family, life shite etc gets in the way and prevents you from being able to attend. It’s cool.

How long will it take me to pass Minimum Skills? It takes everyone a different amount of time, from first attempt to two, three, four or more attempts. However long it takes you is how long it takes you and its fine.  Believe it or not, it’s not a reflection on your ability to become an amazing roller derby player! By a miracle I passed Freshmeat first time, but another gal on my team took three attempts and she’s the far better derby player. She know the skills, the game and the rules inside out. I wing it.


Everyone has good and bad nights at training- some things you’ll pick up first time, other skills will take lots and lots of practice to get right. You may never get it right, but you’ll work out some adaption! Some nights you’ll be flopping around like a fish feeling like you’re spending more time on the ground, dying with no energy. Other nights will be the best night ever.  This is normal.

Should you decide to sign up- and these aren’t really rules- but we do ask the following:

  1. You make the effort to attend all sessions. If you can’t make it, try to get a private message to your coach as soon as possible via the Facebook Freshmeat Group page you’ll be a member of, or an email or text. They might be planning a session that requires specific numbers- people missing throws a spanner in the works and keep in mind that they’re volunteering their time too. Coaches aren’t paid!!
  2. Respect your coaches- listen while they’re instructing, watch carefully while they’re demonstrating skills. If a coach or senior teamie helping out at Freshmeat offers a piece of advice, take it! They really do know what they’re talking about and chances are if they’re offering advice on mastering a particular skill, its because its something they might have struggled with in the past and came up with a trick to get it right.
  3. Respect your fellow newbies- safety always come first. If you’re going to fall, fall as you’ve been taught. Don’t flail and grab the person who happens to be next to you. If you happen to be an experienced skater, don’t be a dick- no showboating around the track making people feel crap about themselves, and certainly not at crazy speeds.
  4. A positive, can-do will-try attitude goes a long way. Being scared or nervous to try new skills is absolutely normal- take that adrenaline and go for it. The worst thing that can happen is that you’ll fall and you’ll have gotten pretty good at that. You made it this far and you’ll have a dozen people cheering you on!
  5. If you’re becoming frustrated or pissed off with something (or someone), take a break. Take a seat at the side of track, have a breather, regroup and return when you’re ready.

Freshmeat and roller derby is tough, but worth it.  You’ll make friends, get fit and strong, clear the mind and build confidence. Roller derby has the ability to impact in a positive way just about every part of your life.  It wasn’t my goal when I started- I just needed to get out of the house or I was going to go mad- but I became more fit, lost weight, lowered blood pressure and I stopped hating my thundering thighs and broad man shoulders. Instead my thighs became pillars that gave me rock steady stability, fast strides and great lap times. My man shoulders I soon recognised as my swimmers shoulders from years before and they became hard-hitting weapons to fear (not really). My anti-social insular self also made some friends.  I find it excruciatingly difficult to make conversation and connect with people.  Despite my quirks, I’ve been welcomed.

We really look forward to welcoming you to East Coast Cyclones Roller Derby Freshmeat and we hope you’ll stick around to write your own fabulous roller derby story some day!

Dublin Roller Derby @ The WFTDA D2 Playoffs

Ashamed to say that only at the last minute did I have an idea this was happening. Had I known, I would gladly have parted with €23 for a weekend WFTDA.tv pass- and that was before Dublin Roller Derby (going into the games as underdogs and invited only due to dropouts) began blowing away the rule book by taking down one by one “stronger”, “better” teams. I followed the first game avidly on Twitter until the twitterer seemingly had a stroke and began posting the wrong scores then no scores. Thank god for East Coast Cyclones teamie Touchy Feely who had splashed out on the pass and kept us updated with Facebook posts and pics!!  Suggestion for next time: one pass, East Coast Cyclones viewing party. With booze. And pizza.

Over the course of the weekend starting Friday, number 1 seed Auld Reekie Roller Girls were the first to fall 200-183 (what an upset!), followed by No Coast Roller Girls seeded 9 166-165 (no nails left), followed by 12 seed Naptown Roller Derby 161-158 (doing it on purpose now). Three for three, through to fight for a Championship place!  And these games were nailbiters, absolutely to the wire, every jam fought for. The Championship Bracket saw DRD take on French buddies and number 3 seed Paris Rollergirls, with the Parisians emerging victorious 259-152. Last game was the so-called Consolation game, against Naptown once again but unfortunately the Dubs earlier win was not to be repeated and Girls in Blue went down 215-144 to achieve 4th place in the playoff. Freaking awesome for a league that went in as the last ranked seed.

Unbelievable stuff and according to Feely as the eyes,  so much sweet stuff- strategies, moves, creativity and sheer heart. Now we know these girls can skate: they are the elite of Irish roller derby- I’m not fit to skate in the shadows of their C team- but holy shi—ite, this was truly amazing. And they did it all themselves. Everything. Shame on our poxy government who don’t recognise the sporting prowess and dedication of everyone involved in Irish roller derby.  Our sport receives zero funding and support but with roller derby gaining more and followers and “mainstream” interest, hopefully we’ll see this change over the coming years, and still be skating to reap any benefits. But then again, if Irish women’s soccer is anything to go by- and those girls supposedly have the FAI at their backs (a rich, bloated man-club), we probably shouldn’t be holding our breath. Like DRD, we’ll keep doing it for ourselves. And we’ll do it well.

Tonight we recruit for Freshmeat. We’ll have some great stories to tell of Dublin Roller Derby heroics in Murica!

Pic Credit- Touchy Feely #268

The Rematch: ECC v “The FireQueens”

Beautiful Bray’s beautiful East Coast Cyclones will take on the combined and fabulous fury of Cork City Firebirds and Waterford City Viqueens, bouting as “The FireQueens” Saturday 23rd September in Shoreline Leisure Centre, Greystones, Co. Wicklow.

This is “THE REMATCH”. Last time we played The FireQueens, back in April, we lost…. boooo… but with some new tricks up our sleeve, fresh young blood (who have managed to get our team age average down to the mid-30s…) and a renewed “groove” we’re pretty certain we can turn that around this game ;).  Hear us ROAAAAAARRRRRRRR! Yeah okay, calm down there now.

Equally as awesome as playing our southern buddies from An Déise and The Rebel County, we have the venue for the whole day! Which means potential for lots and lots of roller derby! Instead of the usual second bout (for which we have no opponent anyway), we’re thinking about hosting a “Co-Ed Sur5al”. We’ve never done it before but here’s the gist:

Sur5al rules are slightly different than normal derby play:

  • Teams of 5 skaters play each other once in a full 2 minute jam
  • There’s no calling off the jam
  • For each jam, 5 points are awarded for a win, 2 points for a draw and zero points for a loss, additionally each lead jammer status earns 1 point (max of 6 points can be awarded per Jam)
  • Major penalties are assessed by having the skater yield 10 feet behind the pack but penalties are COUNTED and the 7th penalty will result in fouling out.  You can skate as low as 3 players and after that you have to forfeit any remaining games
  • The winners are the team with the highest number of Sur5al points

And how many officials are needed? Not sure but we think at least…

  • A minimum of 4 skating refs
  • A jam timer x 1, scorekeepers x 2, score updater x 1 and an announcer (would be amazing…)

How many teams can participate?

  • Also not sure but we’ll figure it out as we gather numbers and work out the leftover time that we’ll have after the first bout.
  • We have a query in with the genius inventors of Sur5al, the Royal Windsor Rollergirls and they say up to 9 teams can play in 2 hours but we need to think about that too as we’re fairly sure we won’t have 9 teams!!

So right now we are taking Expression of Interest- register here if you’re up for it and we’ll be in touch as we know more!


Also happy to take advice, abuse and derision from those who have hosted Sur5al before if we’re totally mad or totally wrong in any or all of our assumptions!


Bout Day! ECC v The Rec-Oning

Bout Day! It’s been and gone. East Coast Cyclones took on the seriously mighty Rookies of Limerick Roller Derby and Pigtown Boys- “The Rec-Oning”- and wow, did we lose our shirt!! We got trounced, badly. Really great stuff but shit, we need to examine the video to see what made you guys so good and us so crap!! Okay, not crap, but certainly less awesome! A combo of amazing offence from ye and poor reactions from us contributed I suspect! Regardless, we’ll learn from it!!

Thank you so much guys for making the trip up and thank you everyone who helped out- hopefully you saw your name mentioned in our online bout programme – here. It will be hidden again in a day or so, to be re-purposed for a later bout date!!

Final score: 234 to 101… Hmm. And congrats again!! 🙂

We hope to be back on track bouting someone 23rd September.  We could do with an opponent however- anyone want to play us?! Contact us on eastcoastcyclones@gmail.com or get us through our Facebook page, here:


Intro to Freshmeat


Wow, interest in our two Intro to Freshmeat nights is really starting to hot up!! It’s so fantastic to see people getting more and more into skating and roller derby in particular!

We still have a few places left for both open nights 21st August and 4th September- if you’re interested in coming along to have a fun skate with us and learn all about our Freshmeat beginners roller derby course starting September, register here:



Summer Scrimmin’


Time for scrim! It had been a while but East Coast Cyclones and visitors Boomtown Rollers got down to some fun co-ed scrimmage last Friday evening, 21st July- well done new Rookies on both teams and everyone else who took on new roles for the night! Hel Razor as ECC Captain, Purple Hayez and Fanny Pack as pack boss, Jenna and Jamangi on alternate, lineup and bench coach, Foxy and Nip as blockers for Boomtown! Some of us, ie just me aka Mass T-Struction aka Pantichrist (my only clean black top on Friday) were too out practice to step far outside the comfort zone so happily blocked all night. Will jam next time, I swear.

It was a close fought bout- I can’t remember the exact score but Team Black ECC won by only a few points. It was a learning experience for all- and that includes the experienced players as it had been a while since we all scrimmaged together.

Thank you everyone – Jenna Tail Ya and Jamangi for lineup and bench coach, Boomie skaters for making the trip out to us, thank you Duracell, Peanuts and Nutritional Beast for awesome (and instructional) reffing, thank you Ciara River Slam, Darren F, Luca-son-of-Foxy and Rian-brother-of-Saoirse for all the hard NSO work. Did I get everyone? Comments box below is available for updates and abuse.

Award winners on the night:

East Coast Cyclones

  • Saoirse Ni Mathuna aka “S ‘n’ M”, MVP
  • Piercy Galore, Best Blocker
  • Scrambled Heggs, Best Jammer

Whooohooo, go ECC!

Boomtown Rollers

  • Ed Banger, MVP
  • Tinacious T, Best Blocker
  • I’da Boss, Best Jammer

That was a blast, can’t wait to do it again soon.



“Freshmeat” Recruitment – Autumn 2017


We’re on the lookout for new roller derby talent! Ever seen roller derby and think, “Hey, that’s pretty damn bad-ass.  I could totally do that”.  No, of course not. Anyone who sees roller derby for the first time actually thinks, “Hey, that’s pretty damn bad-ass. Those people are crazy”. And you’d be right.
Come join the craziness. You don’t have to know the game, you don’t need to be fit, athletic, skinny or whatever. You don’t have to know how to skate. You don’t have to be a woman. Be a man. Be whatever gender you like, be all or none.  We welcome and will teach anyone roller derby from scratch, burning plenty of calories, teaching you amazing skills and confidence, building your fitness and strength week on week. All we ask is that you be over 18 and have a can-do will-try attitude.
Interested in finding out more? We’ll be running open skate and information sessions in Bray on two dates- 21st August and 4th September.
If you have quad roller skates and gear already, the skate and session is free to attend. If you need gear, you can hire it at a cost of €5. All interested would-be Freshies will need to register their interest, letting us know what session you’d like to attend. If you need gear, let us know what your shoe size is.
Freshmeat itself is due to start Monday 11th September and will run for approximately 12 weeks (maybe a week or two longer). Course costs, gear costs and hiring options will all be discussed at the sessions.
Contact us on eastcoastcyclones@gmail.com for more info, or message us on Facebook. Like our Facebook page to rfor updates!